Born in Chaos

How would you describe your life in words?

Ever thought about it?

Strange question, right? But somewhere in the back of our minds, it lingers — If I were to describe my life... how would I? What words could possibly match my thoughts, my feelings? Are words even enough? Do they truly carry the power to let someone understand what I’ve been through — what it felt like to live in my shoes?

Look around — everyone’s carrying something.

Not everyone lives the life they want.

And we can’t compare our pain to others either.

Because somewhere, someone is living a more miserable life than we are.

There’s no scoreboard for suffering. So we learn to carry our burdens silently — without bragging or screaming for attention. But solitude can be painful. Not being able to express what we’re going through… slowly dying in our own thoughts.

Some people feel everything — all at once.

Especially the ones who overthink.

The ones who keep things to themselves.

They don’t like crowds because silence has become their comfort zone.

They talk to themselves, wear different personalities for different situations — until they forget who they really are.

With every breakdown, they rebuild.

Each emotional collapse brings a new awareness, a new version of themselves — more guarded, more numb, more “fine.”

They adapt to survive.

And while not everyone can do that… those who do are different.

They become skilled at hurting silently, dying in self-doubt, again and again. Until they form a version of themselves that can’t be hurt anymore. A version that simply endures.

Then one day, you trust someone.

You think — They won’t judge me.

You believe — They’ll understand.

So you let your guard down, say things without thinking, because you’re finally safe.

But then they flip.

And you’re left wondering — Where did I go wrong?

You thought they wouldn’t leave. You thought they saw you. Understood you.

But now you’re alone.

Choked by your own thoughts. Dying again.

Only to be reborn with a new mindset.

We’re all carrying chaos.

Some of us are just better at hiding it.

And maybe — just maybe — one day, someone will come along who makes it all quiet.

But the real question is: Will that day ever come?

Will I ever truly be at peace?

I guess we wait… until we meet that person.